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Writer's pictureJohn Burkinshaw

Family Visit - Leamington, Leicester, Lincoln

So that we can try and see everyone, on each trip we have been alternating a visit to Liz's family and friends in Lincoln with John's family in Yorkshire, and this time was Liz's turn. We have the extra complication of Liz having to get time off from the doctor's surgery now, so she booked a Thursday and Friday and, as she doen't work Wednesdays anyway, we set off at 7.30am Wednesday morning to head to Lincoln. The cats were left in the capable hands of the lovely Hosshin, a buddhist monk, who lives in a small cabin on the hill about a mile down the road.


First stop was Carfin Grotto near Glasgow. The site has several Catholic shrines including a holy well, which dispenses water from a tap, called the Lourde's well, which has been in contact with water from the real Lourdes thus making it holy water. We called in there to request a further miracle for John in the hope that God isn't sick of hearing from us yet! The site was pretty tacky and, despite the associated dedication plaques, statues and regular services held here, it had no feeling of sanctity at all. We said a prayer anyway, drank some of the water and continued our journey.



The journey south was good, weather getting steadily better, but still didn't feel that summery. Fields being cropped, traffic everywhere and house building like there is no tomorrow!


First visit was with Parveen, one of Liz's friends from secondary school. Lots to catch up on and three hours flew by far too quickly in Starbucks with a cup of the worlds most expensive tea each - £11.40 for two! It was nice though.


Then a relatively short visit to see Grandma, who's 97, at her house, a quick microwaved lunchbox of risotto heated up in her microwave to accompany the conversation about hedgehogs, gardening and who her new neighbours are. Always spritely, it's lovely to see her on good form again.


Next, Emma, another of Liz's friends from primary school, and her husband Steve who is usually away working offshore or in some far flung land. An enjoyable couple of hours raced by and at 9pm we thought we best head over to mum and dad's in time for bed. I'm always sad to say goodbye so soon.



We arrived late and John went straight to bed so Liz got most of the catch up that evening, staying up gone midnight to share the news and gossip. In the morning we headed out to the next village down the road for a book swap club and cup of tea and cake. We selected a half dozen novels to try for the very reasonable sum of free, because Liz forgot to pay her dad back the £3 - oops.


John is not feeling very good. He's now been on a liquid diet for about a week to try and control the vomiting, and the call with oncology on Thursday morning confirmed the plan going forwards - John is being offered a further course of chemotherapy, and the partial blockage is in all probability progression of the cancer itself. This will be every other week again, combining two of the original drugs with a third, new drug which is designed to target the blood supply to the tumours. It is only licensed in Scotland and we are trusting the oncologist that this is the best option for John at this time. We hope that it will improve his current symptoms of vomiting and abdominal pain that he gets if he takes in more than about a pint of fluid at any one time. He has started losing weight already and it is a frightening time for him. We don't know what this does to his life expectancy, but assume it is now shorter, and whether he has the drive to go much further with treatment - there are times that he wants it all to be over. We can only hope that the treatment has some effect, and quickly.


Later in the day we headed towards Loughborough for dinner with Hazel and Nick, two of Liz's colleagues from Leicester NHS hospitals. It was so good to see them after more than a year, and to catch up on news and reminisce about old times and two good friends, Matt and Ruth, who are no longer with us and we miss dearly. We enjoyed a brilliant meal at The Priory, except for John, who watched us eat delicious fish and chips and churros, crumble and sticky toffee pudding, and feel guilty about it. All too soon it was time to head off again to Amber's house where we were staying the next three nights while we were in Leamington.



Last trip here, back in June, we had started Amber's side garden, pulling up slabs and making way for raised beds. This time our aim was to help her get this project moved along. Two tons of top soil had been delivered earlier in the week and all we needed to do was pull the last few slabs up, make the raised beds and move the soil into place. It took all day, but we got it done and it looks brilliant. Can't wait to see the finished thing when Amber fills up the beds with more soil and her herbs.


Friday night we met up with Liz's friend, Mandy and went out for a Turkish meal at Otto's. We decided the food was average and very expensive. John succumbed to temptation and ate a goats cheese starter and a creme brûlée, along with a couple of glasses of wine and a coffee. It should have been fine - everything was very soft and smooth, but he obviously pushed it a bit too far and regretted it for the next six, miserable hours.


Saturday was spent at Charlotte and Hugo's house, doing a little bit of craft: making a tile to go up outside with her house number on, drawing, painting and making a tile mosaic trivet from leftover bathroom tiles. But mostly we were meeting their new cat, Tiger Marshall Dulley. He is adorable. Having been a stray for some time, he is mostly hairless, a bit scabby and really thin, but he is so friendly and clearly adores Charlotte and Hugo, and everyone who comes to visit. They've recently also found out that he is FIV positive, and so needs to be kept as an indoor cat going forwards. He's a terror for food, being used to never knowing where the next meal is coming from, and went in for a big faceful of John's tomato soup and then tried to steal my sandwich before being shut out of the room for ten minutes while we had lunch! Hopefully he is now on the road to a full recovery and learning that love, and food, are predictable again.


We met Colin, Liz's friend and ex-boss and tai chi teacher, in the pub for a quick pint and sharing news, and enjoyed a relaxing hour and a half chatting away over a couple of drinks. We are so glad to stay in touch.



Our last morning was spent in Farmer's Fayre at Stoneleigh Park having a lovely brunch with the girls, Hugo and Amber's friend, Matt. The food was good, as always, and it is a lovely relaxing space to chat. We reminisced about the time Charlotte broke the last mint condition tram in the UK (at the Electric Museum) and demolished an art installation at a gallery in Rotterdam - two of our favourite family stories which will definitely be told at any potential future wedding!


One final call on the way home was a quick dive off the motorway to St Oswald's well, a holy well with supposedly healing waters. We hopped over a barbed wire fence as the well was only a few yeards away, but were disappointed to look inside and find it empty.



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