This is where the hard part kicks in. Our house move will involve moving five people and three cats in four different directions! It is a logistical and emotional nightmare and is the first challenge which is really bringing home the reality of the move. Our family unit, supplemented with Dasha, our Ukrainian refugee lodger, has been together a long time - all the children's' lives in fact, and exactly half of mine (Liz's).
We agreed the offer on our house in mid-August and immediately served notice on everyone, to give them as much time as possible to get themselves sorted with somewhere to go. It didn't actually change the target move date of mid-November for us, but it did crystallise the fact that Whitnash would cease to exist as a place of residence for everyone else, and that some real effort had to go into looking for an alternative abode for our dependents.
Having thought in June that everyone was on a happy trajectory towards self-sufficiency and moving out soon-ish, all the drama kicked off in July (as mentioned in a previous post), and this spurred the sale into being a year earlier than planned. Dasha decided she wasn't moving down to London this summer as planned, Amber decided she needed a change of job and handed in her notice, and Charlotte decided university was not for her and ended her course at the end of year two. It felt like everyone was back to square one and the light at the end of our parenting tunnel dimmed and flickered.
By the end of September I was getting panicky about the stasis and uncertainty of still having everyone at home with no planned move dates in sight. We knew our buyer's buyer wanted to move at the end of October, although we had said not before 13th November due to prior commitments in Leamington. So time was marching on with no progress on the mountain of things we had to sort out.
Dasha was first to move out. We spoke to the local council in the hope they could assist with finding a new sponsor within bus distance of her job. After some fraught emails where the council said there were very few sponsors now and they weren't actually obliged to help Dasha move, and some nervous waiting where nothing happened, Dasha eventually said her friend who lives about a mile closer to town had agreed she could move there short term. On 11th October John helped her move her things, and as much furniture as she wanted, in four car loads, over to her new lodgings. The more she took the less we would have to move (or sell), and we had no need for those items anyway. She took her bed, desk and clothes rail, sheets and towels. Hopefully it set her up well and she will be alright. We hope she keeps in touch!
Charlotte was next, and had a kind of false move followed but the real deal. She got back from uni in July and was staying over at Hugo's house 95% of the time. She took a lot of her clothes and bits and bobs, and was spending her nights slaving over the scorching pizza oven at Dough & Brew, where she had loved working on and off since she was just 15. She was enjoying it, but she wasn't loving working at the opposite end of the days to Hugo, and sacrificing all her socialising. I knew that Fox Windows needed someone on board to take over a lot of my role when we moved and so I put Charlotte's name forward as a potential. I debated whether I thought she was tough enough to withstand the criticism of the inevitable odd disgruntled customer and the obstructive suppliers and the demanding colleagues - I decided she would be alright, and I knew she was more than capable. She started work early October. A week later she announced she was ready to take her furniture and John did two trips with the double bed and dressing table. Charlotte was happy to be moving in with Hugo and his parents while they saved up to move into their own place. She is flying at work too, and is an absolute natural in this role, making it super easy for me to train her, and giving me some breathing space to be less stressed and to assess what is left of my role to take with me to Scotland.
Amber was last to move out, but not by choice, necessarily. She and Will were moving into Will's recently departed brother's bedroom, which first had to be emptied out. Then the carpet needed washing (a teenage boy's/young bloke's room is rarely a savoury prospect!), and the walls painting. And then, very sadly, there was a bereavement in their family and things were put on semi-hold for a week to give Will's parents some time out. She transferred her already packed boxes, but the furniture didn't move until 27th October. John did another two trips, along with Amber's full car and Will's van packed to the roof, taking her double bed, Charlotte's more sizeable wardrobe, her desk and bedside drawers, along with her large collection of animal skulls! She did not seem happy to be moving, and I'm unsure why. We bought her some blackout curtains to accessorise their new room, and hope that once she is unpacked she will enjoy being with Will on a more full time basis, even though she would rather it was on their own terms and turf. Her new job kicked off with 3 weeks of training online and off site, and it seems to be going well - everyone is enthusiastic, friendly and Amber is excited at the prospect of starting her new role properly very soon when the new animal hospital opens to the public.
And now that all their rooms are empty the house feels much less of a home. The four walls are nothing without those you love inside of them. Perhaps this perceived lack of warmth and heart that has settled on Erica Drive now will spur us on with the move, as the ties to our old home slacken. I already miss having them all around, and I admit to a little cry after Amber had gone. I need to keep telling myself that this is the right thing. John and I need to slow down, the kids need to make it on their own at some point, and it is time to sever that child/parent reliance and become more of an adult/adult relationship. I need to remember that just because we will be a bit further away doesn't mean we will never see or speak to them, although it will be us doing all the running I think. And we will have to make sure we make regular trips back here to see everyone, treat them to dinner and spend more quality time with them instead of merely co-exisitng under the same roof but hardly speaking except to complain about the state of the house!
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